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The Quotable Vinnie

Miscellaneous short quotes,  pithy comments, and .sig-worthy remarks. Some of these were culled from Google and contain header info. Others were sent with headers stripped, so we have no idea of their origin. If you have anything to contribute, contact currid@soltec.net.


While I respect your opinion, it don't detract from its weak base. The nobility and rightness of what you say don't change what's real, no matter how loudly or eloquently you choose to put it. -- Vinnie Jordan



"Hint: There is a measurable portion of the population here, whose week isn't complete unless he's made someone cry. And I'm one of them."



"It's 4:30 in the morning. I got a jackhammer headache from a night of too much drinking. My head is pounding, and my liver and kidneys are floating in a pool of partially digested cheap vodka, my old lady is out of town visiting her mom, and the only sound in the house  is that of the dog slurping on his nuts.   It's usually a soothing sound, a sound like home."


"Being an asshole means never wanting to say you're sorry."



Newsgroups: alt.smokers,alt.peeves,alt.bitterness,alt.flame
From: vinniej@sco.COM (King of Beasts)
Subject: Re: Smoking stinks!
Organization: The Santa Cruz Operation, Inc.
Date: Mon, 21 Mar 1994 16:20:22 GMT
Message-ID: <1994Mar21.162022.26062@sco.com>
References: <2mhf4e$fe8@fnnews.fnal.gov> <ohX9js600Vp_MMpR0q@andrew.cmu.edu> <2mkalt$kj3@fnnews.fnal.gov>
Sender: news@sco.com (News admin)
Lines: 10
 
 

In article <2mkalt$kj3@fnnews.fnal.gov> michele@ud5000.cineca.it (Michele Dall'Agata) writes:
>Everything comes into plastic,

Not me. I comes into latex.

___________________________________________________________
Vinnie Jordan, 160 lbs. of rompin' stompin' sonofabitch. vinniej@sco.COM
           "A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



From: Bobby-Joe@netcom.com (Good ol' Boy)
Subject: Re: Keep On Piggin...
Date: 1996/11/18
Message-ID: <Bobby-JoeE12zzz.E12@netcom.com>#1/1
sender: pigface@netcom16.netcom.com
references: <checker-1411962202220001@ppp-10.ts-1.chi.idt.net> <Bobby-JoeE0xBzJ.913@netcom.com> <checker-1511962146060001@ppp-17.ts-1.chi.idt.net>
organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
newsgroups: alt.tasteless

In article <checker-1511962146060001@ppp-17.ts-1.chi.idt.net> checker@chelsea.ios.com (The Checkered Demon) writes:
>Hey BJ -- may I call you BJ?    ;)

Sure, but I'd rather you gave me one. My old lday could
use an occasional day off.

[...]

VJ



From: Bobby-Joe@netcom.com (Good ol' Boy)
Subject: Re: Now there's a revelation...
Date: 1996/12/28
Message-ID: <Bobby-JoeE34sK0.7sK@netcom.com>#1/1
sender: pigface@netcom16.netcom.com
references: <32C08166.5D3@ih.hawaii.us> <ATAYLOR.96Dec26221124@gauss.nmsu.edu> <5a11qp$8h8@fido.asd.sgi.com>
organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
newsgroups: alt.peeves

In article <5a11qp$8h8@fido.asd.sgi.com> zursch@solaris.engr.sgi.com (Jeffrey B. Zurschmeide) writes:
>Lynn Russell on CNN Headline News (LIPS!)

Da "Spook?"

I always thought she looked like some kinda vampire bitch. I've had other folks say that they felt she was enticing, but her looks make me wanna grab a handful of Vaseline, cuz there's some things even my dick don't do.

VJ



From: Notorious P.I.G. (pigface@netcom.com)
Subject: Re: Humiliation or Discipline?
Newsgroups: uk.education.misc, uk.current-events.general, misc.education, alt.peeves
Date: 1997/10/07

In article <MPG.ea22d30c93f75ea9896ef@news.tip.nl> frans.buijsen@tip.nl (Frans Buijsen) writes:
>Peeve: For over a year now, I have been mixing up the names Vinnie Jones
>and Vinnie Jordan. Somehow, they just seem to match.

I'm cuter, my dick's longer and I can drink more alcohol.

VJ




From: pigface@netcom.com (Notorious P.I.G.)
Subject: Re: Random music scene peeves
Date: 1997/11/13
Message-ID: <pigfaceEJKDs5.Cxu@netcom.com>#1/1
Sender: pigface@netcom5.netcom.com
References: <01bcee21$3d12b960$eb803f10@c-fitzpatrick.cxo.dec.com> <kes-1111971302180001@strayhorn.dukecomm.duke.edu> <01bcef9d$74001e40$eb803f10@c-fitzpatrick.cxo.dec.com>
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Newsgroups: alt.peeves

In article <01bcef9d$74001e40$eb803f10@c-fitzpatrick.cxo.dec.com> "Coinneach Fitzpatrick" <ken.fitzpatrick@digital.com> writes:
>!Peeve: 2 shows booked on the way out, 2 on the way back.
>?Peeve: In Texas.

Pull your dick out in time to blow yer wad into her fuckin' beehive hairdo, bro. I can forgive a lot of things, but birthing a Texan ain't on that list.

VJ



From: pigface@netcom.com (Notorious P.I.G.)
Subject: Re: Would you consume feces for cash?
Date: 1997/12/14
Message-ID: <pigfaceEL5xAv.KKs@netcom.com>#1/1
Sender: pigface@netcom17.netcom.com
References: <Pine.SOL.3.94.971210172444.7725F-100000@diamond> <66qa12$dtb$1@sol.pdnt.net> <66u459$r6v@fridge.shore.net>
Organization: Netcom Online Communications Services (408-241-9760 login: guest)
Newsgroups: alt.punk,alt.tasteless
 

In article <66u459$r6v@fridge.shore.net> sjm@msimobility.com (The Carrot) writes:
>In article <66qa12$dtb$1@sol.pdnt.net>, TIEKBANE@PDNT.COM mindlessly
>blathers...
>>I'll do something worse: I'll fuck Janet Reno in the ass.
>How the hell could you tell which end was which?

Easy. The end with the glasses is the face. If it was her ass, she'd have a fuckin' monocle on it.

VJ



From: pigface@netcom.com (Notorious P.I.G.)
Subject: Death Wish?
Date: 1999/03/21
Message-ID: #1/1
Sender: pigface@netcom3.netcom.com
Organization: ICGNetcom
Newsgroups: alt.peeves

[re: the Doles]
[]

Now, instead of a geriatric wanker with a bad prostate, who couldn't even jack off for fear of getting ink all over the bedsheets from the pen he carried everywhere, we get his wife.

I've a campaign slogan for Elizabeth; "Vote for the Dole with the hole!"

VJ
 
 


With women finally subjugated as sex toys and menial servants, we dick-danglers can get back to the business of waging war and playing poker. -- Notorious P.I.G. [unattributed]


Life is short. Unfortunately, so is my dick. [to Nurzy in e-mail, 1998]